On Turning One

Processed with VSCOcam with c1 presetLast week my baby girl turned one year old. It was a week filled to the brim with joy and reminiscing. It’s amazing how much life can change over the course of one year. And it is an incredible thing to witness God’s handiwork in creating and growing life in the first year of a baby. I was texting with a friend who was also celebrating her son’s first birthday on the same day and we both agreed how we felt incredibly humbled and grateful to have the privilege of mothering our children. To know that my husband and I have been given the responsibility to not only keep a human being alive, but to also train and prepare this little girl to live in this big world is daunting! As the days swiftly move by, I’m reminded more and more that I have been given one of the most important, joy-filled, exhausting tasks. To be a mother.

When I was pregnant and “planning” for motherhood, I had expected my world to be smaller. I knew that it would be harder to quickly leave the house for an impromptu coffee date, scheduling evening events around bedtimes and planning date nights were going to be more of a challenge. What I didn’t expect, though, was that my life didn’t get smaller at all. Instead, it became filled to the brim with a beauty I had never noticed.

As luck would have it, Shauna Niequist wrote about this conundrum in her daily devotional Savor on Naomi’s birthday. Let me share a little bit from this particular essay “Ladybugs” (also…Naomi loves ladybugs):

“I thought that my single tasks, caring for our baby and writing, both would make my world very small. What I have found is that they make my world impossibly big, that they open up something in my head and in my heart. In my grandparents’ house when I was small, there were crystals hung on fishing line over the kitchen sink. When the sun came through the glass in the mornings, the whole kitchen was filled with bright wiggling rainbows of light, and we were mesmerized by the beauty and magic of it. That’s how it is now, like this tiny child and this blank screen have turned the living room into a wonderland, bouncing and brimming over unexpectedly with beauty and color and bands of light.”

The beauty of living this slower paced life over this past year is that I began the journey of learning to savor the everyday, mundane pieces of my life. All of this has been a gift to me from my Heavenly Father. Even the hard days when I don’t sleep and I have a fussy, teething baby who only finds comfort and relief when she nurses, so she nurses all day. There’s beauty in that because how amazing is it that God created my body in such a way that I can produce sustenance and comfort for a tiny baby! And when Naomi and I step outside our door each morning, she greets the trees and birds with an emphatic wave and “yell”. How often do I step outside to look at God’s creation and have joy rising up in me? Let me tell you…not often. But for Naomi, it’s every day. I want to be more like her in that way and I hope that I can continue to encourage her to live her life in that way. But first, I need to rejoice in the small blessings.

This year hasn’t been easy. In fact, it’s been one of the hardest years of my life. Waiting to hear word that the suspension has lifted for our adoption. Not sleeping for longer than 3-4 hours ever this year. Learning how to sacrifice my needs and wants for the sake of a helpless baby. Not easy. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I know what a gift I have been given in having Naomi. We prayed for my body to maintain a pregnancy for two years and had started to believe that having a child in the traditional way wasn’t going to be a part of our family’s story. God saw otherwise and took what seemed to be broken with no hope and created life.

That’s what our God does. He restores. He redeems. He takes what looks mundane to the rest of the world and creates beauty. He gives strength to the weary mommas.

He is so good. He is so faithful.

 

 

Comments

  1. Amen and amen. Beautiful. So privileged to have witnessed your first year from afar and see how joyful and filled your heart is. Yes, I can tell even through social media… because God has been working indeed!

  2. jenny marrs says:

    I have tears reading this. Beautifully, perfectly said. I’ve loved having your friendship to share this first year of our baby girl’s life together. It’s been an amazing year full of joys and sorrows and I pray constantly that your entire family will soon be together under one roof. Naomi is so very loved and is going to be adored by her big sisters!!!

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